Fuck the Aliens

Well, we're back. And brother, you go away for a few weeks and all hell breaks out. Well, at least while I was gone our alien overlords seem to have shrunk Dubya down to the size large chimp and turned his hair so gray it looks like his whole stooped body is covered in lemur fur. I first noticed this last week when he was shown in a short-sleeved shirt at some barbecue. He looked frail and jerky. Even in his work suit in this press conference clip I caught over at Hoffmania he appears to be fading away as he leans on the podium which seems to be all that's holding him upright. 

Yes, he's getting smaller and grayer. He more and more resembles the aliens who control us. Perhaps it is how they reproduce. Any day now his rat-like eyes will begin to darken and grow alarmingly large as his eyebrow ridges retract and the skull of the half-man-half-alien creature elongates. He will soon spin a cocoon, winding himself tightly in silk that squirts in thick strands from his ears as he turns, round and round, on his oval office chair.

In a sane society, the whole Whitehouse would be burned as soon as the pupa stopped moving. Or perhaps just the oval office could be surgically incinerated. That is how we deal with tent caterpillars in Jersey. A long pole topped with rags soaked in gasoline. A good rag artist could take thirty caterpillar tents out of a single cherry tree and not lose a twig to the fire.

But that won't happen. The thing will be kept outdoors, warm and out of the rain until the cold winds of November come. It then will be laid by the fireplace to quicken and they will dress it up in a santa suit for the Whitehouse Christmas Card and no one in the media or anywhere else will mention it or suggest that it is unusual in any way and early New Year's Day it will split open in the cold morning before dawn and a newly formed alien will spill out. It will scuttle out the window, racing unnoticed across the lawns. It has one desperate plan left. Before the sun tops the houses it is spent, dying in a filthy alleyway but with the wondrous words "Mission Accomplished" sibilantly spoken in an alien tongue ringing in its mind. It has succeeded. It has laid three squirming eggs in Barak Obama's brain.

And so the madness will continue. With God on your side, etc. This just in: Violent death in Iraq is up 33%  Feb over Jan 2008.  Lede video on CNN.com? 

LEGEND OF LIZARD MAN CONTINUES

This is what happens when you let the Aliens run things, people. Smarten the fuck up.

.