Terrorist Rodents Attack Lincoln County

Ondatra Zibethicus (Evil Rodent)

A Mississippi River levee burst on Friday,

(CNN) -- allowing floodwaters to pour into Lincoln County, Missouri, just north of St. Louis, officials said. Sheriff's deputies alerted residents to evacuate, yelling "get out, the levee broke" as they went door-to-door in the affected areas, according to an Associated Press report.

"Until this morning, we felt our progress was successful and would hold the water back," said Andy Binder, public information officer for Lincoln County. "However, Mother Nature's priorities were apparently different."

The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers blamed the structural collapse on pockets dug in the levee walls by muskrats.

The US army, out to defeat evil in the entire world, can't even defeat muskrats. Good thing there's no massive infrastructure problems in America, or that could be a problem. And luckily the economy is strong. Why it's so strong, the market could continue like it has for the last two weeks...



... and the total value of the companies in the DJIA wouldn't fall all the way to zero for nearly three whole months!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Partay!

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Obviously time to give the rich some tax cuts

Of course, the economy is strong.

Your tax dollars at work

U.S. trains Iraqi women to find female suicide bombers

Cause, y'know, we sure as shit can't. 

Hey, we tried for seven years, let's let the women have a go. That's democracy, right? Sure it is. And a real boost for women's equality. You bet.

In the town of Yusufiya, southwest of Baghdad, some 30 women are being trained to search other females at security checkpoints -- something men are forbidden to do under Iraqi cultural norms...

 The women come from small farming communities. Many of them are widows (Gee. I wonder why?) with numerous children and almost no income... The women will work two or three days a month, making up to $300, an Iraqi military officer explained

See? We're doing great things in Iraq. Providing security and providing employment. Surely, they do owe us a great debt of gratitude. There is of course no possibility of this strategy backfiring or coming to misfortune in any way.

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Get. The. Bastard.

Kucinich gives Bush a 35 gun salute on the floor of Congress.

History is in the making as I type: Rep. Dennis Kucinich has taken to the floor of the House and has begun reading 35 Articles of Impeachment against President George W. Bush...


Bob Fertik, President of Democrats.com, said: "We've waited seven years to find one Member of Congress brave enough to stand up for our Constitution, for which generations of Americans have fought and died. We are thrilled and honored that Dennis Kucinich has chosen to be that one genuine patriot. We congratulate him on his historic leadership, and pledge to do everything in our power to persuade Congress to adopt all 35 Articles and put George W. Bush on trial before the Senate of the United States, exactly as the Founding Fathers wanted."

Get 'im Dennis!

He's Goin Down