Good. He's dead.

Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes

When you heard about the death of Charlton Heston, I'm sure your reaction was the same as mine: what the hell kind of name is "Charlton"?

Every one of his movies was sensationalist moronic crap. He was decorated by George W. Bush who muttered something about freedom and hung a gold albatross around his neck. He was a bad actor and a puffed-up and relentless shill for a industry who's number one product is death. Yup. At Smith & Wesson, death is job one.

US foreign policy is all about guns and weapons in general of course. To have a successful business you need a product and a market for the product. The US produces weapons. Very expensive weapons. Weapons so expensive that only other countries can afford them. So the US has divided the world into consumer nations. Everyone consumes US weapons. It's more American than Coca Cola. And it makes foreign policy very easy. There are good countries and bad countries. Both consume US weapons, but here is the difference. The "good" foreign countries consume the weapons by buying them from the US "for defence" and the bad countries of course consume the weapons from the pointy end. In other words the good countries are allowed to exist as long as they pay their protection money. If they stopped paying and were to somehow become bad countries... Nice little country you got goin' here. Be a shame if something were to happen to it. Yup, a shame. A government with a nice country like this ought to be thinkin' about protectin' it, don't ya think?

Yes, a foreign policy genius like Dyba would of course worship a great American Hero like Charlie Heston who is remembered for playing a succession of imaginary supermen in overproduced Hollywood farces that the president of the United States believes were documentaries. Of course he wants to associate with a steely-jawed he-man who bravely stands up for the "rights" of gun owners (like they were oppressed pilgrim refugees). He is proud to shake the hand of such a fine American. He would applaud a man bold enough to lead a pro gun rally in the shadow of Columbine. Dubya admires his dedication to the cause of freedom, a "great partiot" as it proclaims on the NRA website. Such a man is what America is all about: a vain, stupid bully, proudly ignorant and armed to the teeth.

So he's dead. Can we pry the fucking gun out of his cold dead hands now?

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